June 11, 2010
To My Contracting Uterus,
I would like to lodge a formal complaint concerning your performance as of 10 o'clock yesterday morning. While commendable that you managed to complete in one hour what took you two weeks on your initial assignment, your failure to notify me concerning your intentions is unacceptable and reflects poorly on your otherwise clean record.
It was rather disconcerting for my husband to discover me writhing and screaming on our bathroom floor while our oldest son shrieked with delight and joined in Mommy's new game of pounding the ground with her fist. Seriously, the man has been through enough this week. Several other parties have expressed their disapproval including but not limited to my darling doctor, my friend Carol, and my father-in-law, all of which were subjected to my agonizing screams while talking to aforementioned husband on the phone.
I recognize that you have had a somewhat difficult work week, but hope that in the future we can work together and follow protocol in any and all procedures relative to your line of work. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to our future interaction.
Sincerely,
Your disgruntled owner
____________________________
Apparently I missed the memo that post-delivery uterine contractions worsen with every pregnancy. You have all failed me. Consider yourself warned.
(Go ahead and laugh. I did. A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Have a great day. We love you!)
9 comments:
Yeah, sorry I didn't warn you. It slipped my mind until you mentioned it right now. But I would agree with you. It was worse with #2 for me too, thanks heavens I was living on Vicodin for a few days. You should ask for some...it's good stuff. :)
Hey Hillary,
I hope your uterus is being nicer to you today. I still say the most painful part of delivery is when the nurse comes in and starts punching your stomach one hour after delivery. Like seriously, is that necessary? I wanted to punch her back! I called and talked to Blaine a couple days ago about coming up to see you. Let me know when you're feeling up to it and I'll hop in my car. Seriously.
I don't even remember them being a problem with Baby #1 but by baby #4 (and I'm not looking forward to them after 5) they were LESS than comfortable! I hope your uterus will take your letter into consideration and give you a break!!
I just think it would be wonderful if the men could experience this just once. I always find it quite humorous, when we have a male doctor and he doesn't have a clue as to how we are feeling!
I do recognize, however, if men were having babies every family would have 1 child! I love all the men in my life, but I don't think any of you would be willing to go through it more than once.
My thoughts and prayers are with you continually.
I probably need to quickly clarify just who is Bonka. Colton can't or won't say grandma or grandpa and he calls us Bonka instead. I have decided that this is my term of endearment from him so therefore, I am Bonka Calaway (aka Blaine's mom)
Yeah, the things you don't know until you do.
I highly recommend Percocet. Highly. Very Highly. Unless you want to function, in which case, I have no advice to offer.
I think it would be great to have men experience this just once also! Those contractions sound horrible! Hope your feeling better today! Love and pray for you always!
Oh the things to look forward to! I hope you are feeling better today. Hopefully it got the memo and decided to be more kind to you in the future. Remember that long lost package I kept telling you about? Well, it will be sent tomorrow. I promise. :) Happy mail is coming your way!
We are heading out of town next week but we will be back in Kennewick before the 1st of July :)
email me:
greenstan@charter.net
(p.s. Sorry about the uterus. No fun. At all.)
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