Once in a blue moon, back in the furthest corner of my mind I'll catch myself wondering if I am to blame for what's happening right now--then I slap myself, order a milkshake and go back to my cross-word puzzle or book.
We live in a 'point the finger' society where the blame game is more popular than Monday Night Football. At the root of every failed venture, policy, program and career a face and a name are assigned responsiblility and branded 'blame-worthy'.
It's my teacher's fault I got that grade.
I wasn't raised to know better.
If so and so hadn't done that, I wouldn't have done this and that.
I'm a bad person, I'm a bad parent, I'm a bad employee, bad, bad, bad.
Yes, even we can become our own worst accusers. Maybe it is our nature to want an explanation, or an intrinsic desire for justice--I don't really know. But I am realizing today how poisonous this mindset of ascribing blame can be and that it has us pouring salt in each others wounds (and in our own for that matter) rather than following the Savior's example to forgive. I have been guilty of this--just ask those closest to me. I hope to be less so in the future.
I am so grateful Heavenly Father opened my eyes today and helped me see this. I hope that through this trial I can follow the example of a pupil who took a Master Class on not seeking blame-Job.
1 comment:
(this is Amanda Knickerbocker... Brittany told you about our experience)
Oh my. Reading your blog brought back so many emotions. Ugh. I'm so sorry for you to have to deal with this.
Please, please, please, let me know if I can be of any help. If you have any questions-- questions you are too afraid to ask the doctor, questions you've asked the doctor a million times but still don't understand, anything, let me know. My email is afarr04 {at} gmail {dot} com.
We'll keep you in our prayers. Everyday in the womb is worth two days in the NICU. Seriously, let me know how I can help.
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