Day 9: Attitude of Gratitude

Being a Mom is the greatest blessing in my life.

I've taken it for granted for a long time.

Somewhere along the way I got down in the trenches of mommy-hood and forgot to peek my head out of the foxhole. I was so wrapped up in my world of spit-up, schedules and sleeplessness that I started losing ground. Maybe you can relate.

I saw myself getting more impatient with my husband and toddler, and then feeling guilt for that impatience, and then asking the Lord to help me be more patient and blindly wondering why I couldn't seem to scale the mole-hills in my life. So I tucked my head further down in the foxhole and tried harder. And sometimes it worked. There would be days where I'd get everything I wanted to done, take care of my family, never get upset at my child--it was wonderful. But then bad days would surface and I was back at square one.

And then something happened. . .

Two weeks ago my doctor told me that the baby inside of me, the one I'd planned on wasn't going to live.

I realized that I wasn't going to get to hold this infant in my arms, sing them to sleep, watch them roll over, kiss their velvet skin, take them to the park, and a million other things. How sacred and special every kiss, and cuddle, and moment I had been blessed with my two year old to have appeared now. All those things I'd taken for granted--how trivial and stupid things like spit-up, schedules, and sleeplessness became.

I don't know why it took something like this to wake me up, but I am so grateful Heavenly Father allowed this to happen. Mother's Day will never be the same. The way I mother will never be the same. I see my husband and child so differently now--it's like I've been given new eyes.

Happy Mother's Day.