The Upside to being Down on Bedrest
commentary on the benefits of being a couch potato
Apparently when you lay around 24-7 your body gets confused. You start losing muscle mass (I knew those two steroid shots in my hind quarters were a blessing!), you pretty much lose your appetite with little to no energy being expended, you are a sure-fire candidate for heartburn, inevitable plumbing department issues (we'll leave it at that. hello? anyone still reading?), and of course the lack of movement turns you into a zombie.
The last one is a huge blessing and I'll tell you why. . .
When you don't need as much sleep, and you wake up in the middle of the night there isn't a whole lot to do besides count the ceiling tiles (22 whole pieces, 33 partial tiles in my room FYI), and read your scriptures. I prefer the later.
Multiple nights I'll wake up and a long-forgotten story from the scriptures will pop into my head.
These stories have been tender mercies.
Monday was a long day full of reality checks. Meeting with the anesthesiologist to discuss emergency procedures during labor, learning that this little one still only has a 30% chance of intact survival, getting shots and IV's ready for emergency delivery, talking to the doctors about all the complications at this point in the game, really fun stuff.
By nighttime I was spent, but rest eluded me. By 2 a.m. I was up and reading from Mark's account about the Daughter of Jairus. Quick recap.
Jairus, a leader of the synagogue has a daughter at the point of death. In haste, he seeks out the Savior who has been teaching nearby and pleads that He come quickly to attend to his dying child. During their interaction, leaders of the synagogue rush to Jairus's side, informing him that his beloved daughter is gone and there is no point in troubling the Master with it.
Immediately, the Savior turns to Jairus and says, "Be not afraid, only believe."
Jairus has a choice. He can listen to these men telling him the facts--your daughter is dead, it's too late, there is no hope, nothing can be done. Or. . .he can listen to this Jesus of Nazareth telling him, "Don't be scared--hold on to that faith that brought you this far."
We know what Jairus chooses: faith. And in that moment I knew what my choice was too.
I know the facts. I know the odds.
But Heavenly Father has brought us this far and it is not in His program to forsake His children. He has seen me through every other trial--He is not going to fail me now. And He isn't going to fail you. It doesn't matter how big or small your problems are, He is aware of them and the pain of your suffering is graven on the palms of His Son's hands. But sometimes waiting is hard. I found a lot of comfort from the following, given by Sister Ann M. Dibb in Conference:
"As we wait, we may begin to believe that we have been forsaken or that our prayers were not heard or that possibly we are not worthy to have them answered. This is not true. I love King David’s comforting words: “I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry” (Psalm 40:1)."
So I will wait.
commentary on the benefits of being a couch potato
Apparently when you lay around 24-7 your body gets confused. You start losing muscle mass (I knew those two steroid shots in my hind quarters were a blessing!), you pretty much lose your appetite with little to no energy being expended, you are a sure-fire candidate for heartburn, inevitable plumbing department issues (we'll leave it at that. hello? anyone still reading?), and of course the lack of movement turns you into a zombie.
The last one is a huge blessing and I'll tell you why. . .
When you don't need as much sleep, and you wake up in the middle of the night there isn't a whole lot to do besides count the ceiling tiles (22 whole pieces, 33 partial tiles in my room FYI), and read your scriptures. I prefer the later.
Multiple nights I'll wake up and a long-forgotten story from the scriptures will pop into my head.
These stories have been tender mercies.
Monday was a long day full of reality checks. Meeting with the anesthesiologist to discuss emergency procedures during labor, learning that this little one still only has a 30% chance of intact survival, getting shots and IV's ready for emergency delivery, talking to the doctors about all the complications at this point in the game, really fun stuff.
By nighttime I was spent, but rest eluded me. By 2 a.m. I was up and reading from Mark's account about the Daughter of Jairus. Quick recap.
Jairus, a leader of the synagogue has a daughter at the point of death. In haste, he seeks out the Savior who has been teaching nearby and pleads that He come quickly to attend to his dying child. During their interaction, leaders of the synagogue rush to Jairus's side, informing him that his beloved daughter is gone and there is no point in troubling the Master with it.
Immediately, the Savior turns to Jairus and says, "Be not afraid, only believe."
Jairus has a choice. He can listen to these men telling him the facts--your daughter is dead, it's too late, there is no hope, nothing can be done. Or. . .he can listen to this Jesus of Nazareth telling him, "Don't be scared--hold on to that faith that brought you this far."
We know what Jairus chooses: faith. And in that moment I knew what my choice was too.
I know the facts. I know the odds.
But Heavenly Father has brought us this far and it is not in His program to forsake His children. He has seen me through every other trial--He is not going to fail me now. And He isn't going to fail you. It doesn't matter how big or small your problems are, He is aware of them and the pain of your suffering is graven on the palms of His Son's hands. But sometimes waiting is hard. I found a lot of comfort from the following, given by Sister Ann M. Dibb in Conference:
"As we wait, we may begin to believe that we have been forsaken or that our prayers were not heard or that possibly we are not worthy to have them answered. This is not true. I love King David’s comforting words: “I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry” (Psalm 40:1)."
So I will wait.
6 comments:
Hillary I just had to check back in on you and see how you and baby are doing. So thrilled to read baby is still planning an earthly experience! I got to play the bed rest game with all 3 of my girls. Not fun but like you I was able to really think about life and eternity. Being forced to hold still turned into one of my greatest blessings Father has given me. Those times of divine tutorialship have stayed with me and guided me in my journey through life. My prayers will be sent your way again. I'll ask a few for your wonderful mom and dad as well. Being grandparents is wonderful but full of worry and wishing we could do more. I'm sure they feel that way for you and your sweet family. God bless you and yours. Love Monica Hobley
Thanks for reminding us of the story of Jairus' faith. It's such a good one. I love when blogs can be used for such a good cause. It's nice to keep updated on your situation so we can be specific in our prayers for you.
Hillary - you are quite an extraordinary person. I am truly amazed at your outlook on life, your sense of humor, your testimony, your writing skills, your positive attitude, etc. I learn something from you everyday!!! Your family is remembered in our prayers.
Hillary,
I was blog stalking :) and came across yours today. It takes an incredible person to go through something like this and still be so positive. I admire you so much. My prayers are with you, your baby, and your family.
Hillary,
The scriptures can bring us such comfort. I know the times when I have received the most powerful answers to my prayers have been when the Holy Ghost has whispered scriptures to my mind that I have read before but somehow, in that moment, they were a direct message to me from the Lord. That's when I fully understood how important it is to read our scriptures. I think so often of the Lord healing people during his earthly ministry. When I read your post this morning I was reminded of the story in Mark Chapter 9 where a father brought his child to Jesus to heal him. The father was distraught and Jesus was his only hope to help this child he loved so much. Jesus told him, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." The father replied,"Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief" (doubt).
I think of this story so often. We are spirit children in natural man bodies and Satan wants us to doubt the power of God and will do anything to make that happen. Things don't always turn out as WE want or when we want, but knowing that God is in charge brings us peace. Our sweet Elisabeth has faced many challenges and I have learned with a perfect knowledge that Heavenly Father loves His children and wants to heal us and make everything alright. Sometimes, there are lessons we need to learn that we can't learn any other way and so we continue in faith, trusting and knowing that He knows more than us and for all of the prophets, apostles, pioneers and so many before us who have suffered, we can bear our burdens just the same.
Our Heavenly Father knew that YOU could do this, whatever the outcome, just as he knows that our family could deal with our trials. I can testify that our burdens become lighter as we turn them over to the Lord daily. He wants us to and through our challenges we become tied to Him in a way that perhaps we didn't quite imagine before. I know that's true for me.
As a side note, when I had Nathan (13 year ago) he was delivered emergency c-section and the doctor cut my ureter in the process. This required another surgery, 12 days in the hospital, a 6 week recovery at home. I used to run. I remember thinking I would never be able to run again. I still remember one of the first days I went out jogging with the boys in the jog stroller and Connor telling me, "Mommy, you can do it!" I later went on to run 2 marathons and 3 halfs. So, as you lay there feeling your muscles atrophy, know that you'll BE BACK!
Hang in there. If you haven't read Elder Bednar's talk on "Tender Mercies" recently, read it. It's excellent. WE love you guys!
I love checking your blog everyday. What am I going to do when all this is over and you go back to like, once a week again? It'll be like when I was done reading Twilight and there was this "Now what?!" feeling! You'll just have to keep writing everyday forever. It's funny because I was thinking about you the other day and how well-written and thoughtful all your blogs are and how if it were me, I would be just rambling on about, "Today, I counted the ceiling tiles... there are 42 and a half..." So I was glad to see that you too have counted your ceiling tiles and given me the info on that. :) I was wondering when you would.
Post a Comment